Friday, October 31, 2008
Lim Joo Kee's life story. His father was killed my ninjas, and he wanted to learn karate to defeat them.
With this vast amount of money ( 3.95 baht), he made a new company for credit cards, and took over Visa
Using this money, he made the world's first camera phone for Nokia.
Being a professional in mathematics, he made the newest and hottest equation in the whole decade.
Not only did he obtain a degree in mathematics, he majored in literature, and was well known for making poems. For example...
Being such a successful buisnessman, he and his wife, the hardly noticed Lim Rachel, together thought of ideas one night, and came up with the IJob. Cool Eh?
Yet his career did not end there. He conducted a survey, and found out this. His career became greater , and he was better known.
However, Lim Joo Kee was never an all work no play type. He also read comics, and this comic was his favourite.
However, he also had his dislikes. For example, his most hated comic was HOW STICK PEOPLE BECAME EXTINCT.
Being very pissed he launched a frozen nuclear bomb at the factory producing the comic, and it showed his hatred with one finger.
Beside being a fan of comics, he was also a fan of football, and he always liked the pledge.
Here'sthe reason why
\ /
\ /
\ /
However, soon he got wind that his wife was pregnant. He wondered," When did i do it?" oh Now i rmb!!
Howevr, his wife kept nagging and nagging. and almost got him into an accident, so he made a new seatbelt.
When his son was born, it was found that he had problems. He was neither boy, girl, nor neutral. So in view of this tragedy, Lim Joo Kee made this sign for his erm...Child.
To make his son think about how he was created, Joo Kee made a new switch around the house, so that he and his wife could forever be reminded of their experiences together.
However, one day, he decided to be kind to all men, as sometimes, when they do it, the friction is so great, it fries more than electrifies. So he made a speed limit, with 1 condition.
He made a new toilet, so that men could have pleasure even in the ugly toilets of Bukit Merah, where he lives in a 21 storey cardboard box. ( He found the 21st storey in IMM on the floor)
Due to his acheievements, he was sent onto the show. However, he had trouble solving the last phrase, and due to this he got a heart attack.
And bringing his camera phone ( k580i this time) , he took a picture of what human kind would see after entering the state of ...death.
Blaming the Spin the wheel programme for setting such a hard 4 letter phrase, his wife, Rachel Lim, went to the lawyer.
However, sadly, she lost the case, along with what money was left in her bank, for the free Anal..oops Analysis i meant. Using whatever means she got to make money, she finally made enough money, hired an artist, and painted Joo Kee in a portrait for her to look at everyday.
The cast in this story: Joo Kee surname really Lim
Rachel surname is lee, but changing to Lim Sooner or later
and me the narrator, Yang Yi.
This is based on a ficticious storyline, if it has offended you, please go to the lawyer's office for your free anal...analysis i meant.
FINBALLY EXAMS ARE OVER
LETS CELEBRATE
WOOHOOO
WOOHOOO
EXAM FINDINGS
english okay chinese hard like hell
maths i made a screwup
bio mcq easy
chemistry i fcked up
OH AND 2DAE
PHYSICS EASIER THAN I EXPECTED
GEOG HARDER THAN I EXPECTED
i will post joo kee's life story later
:p;
a few jokes we made during the past few days
We take picture of joo kee's pants, save it into zip folder, send to rachel , ask her unzip it.
:p
ZHI YUAN SO HOT HE MADE VERENA UNTIL THIS SIZE * POINTING AT RACHEL *
When comparing verena with zhi yuan, shorter abit, but same size.
joo kee so thin, can use fungal hyphae to be parachute.
and i showed people zhi yuan's amazing terrebyte tool
lol
after that went to eat kfc
treated him
after that went imm find 107
we shopped for mini toon
and i got a cool dek case
warning choking ahzard
lol
ALONG WITH A MY JOB SUCKS
so cool
ruth, the bdae rpesent cash giv u, u owe me 16.95
Match Point At 2:07 AM
Friday, October 24, 2008
okay...great...exams starting
so this will be my last post until....my BIRTHDAY...should be there..or the day before it
hooray
erm...cant talk abt test....
blasted...
okay so talk abt the 2h break
first we ate, then i drank mocha breeze, then hogged the lift, then went 2 5th floor near the toilet
lol
spent 1 and a half hour playing lumine blocks and climbing1.8m walls
AH rachel lee must thank me
i helped her complete boss 4...and got her two golds in hard mode
lol
kay done cuz cant talk abt chinese
oh ya durigne exam, i shot zong yao
lol
then spent playing lumines block on the bus...
edit
sumthing we discussed during lunch
joo kee said sumthin abt stealing my tits...
then i replied
OH NO WONDER MY TITS GONE. u implant them on rachel lee right
*slaped by joo kee*
galen then said
normal people big tit small nipple. Yy tit small tit big nipple
then is ay
oh o wonder u put them on rachel, wan big nipples
*slapped again*
lol><
Match Point At 3:47 AM
Thursday, October 23, 2008
GOOD LUCK FOR EXAMS EVERYONE READING.GIMME SOME GOOD LUCK TOOLETS GO!!ACE THE EXAMS...AND DEFEAT HONG JING THE CUTECUTE BOY
Match Point At 2:51 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
OH EVERYONE
NOW QUEUE UP TO QUEUE UP BEFORE WEIJUN...
CAN HEAR HIM SING
VERY NICE
Match Point At 8:34 AM
WOOHOOOOOO
lol
erm...tuesdya started with math
LAST MATH LESSON BUT MS CHEW NVR BY US CHOCOLATE BECAUSE O STUPID CHINA
LOUSY CHINA
SEE LA BECUZ OF U NO CHOCOLATE
LAST ENGLISH LESSON FOLLOWED AFTER THAT
LOL...MISS BONG CHASE ME OUT
BUDDEN I GOT say v. common thing i wondered for use of english
we all write it in english not chinese tamil or singlish, should get full mark for stupid use of english
RIDICULOUS
aft that geog
halfway...ms chen start talkin abt pikachu becomin raichu
then i say," ms chen u wrong la. pikachu need thunderstone evolve la"
then we started tlakin abt pokemon..
retardeness sias
then chem
YEAH LAST CHEM TOO WE CLAPPED THE LOUDEST THEN
lol
wadda we do for chem
oh ya.......................................chem quiz...
stupid la
after that go home
wednesday
je hon on same bus as me lol
lol
so sad
PE
played bballl
106 got owned
egoing...CUZ OF ME
ah then assembly
erm...yr 6 farewellassembly
then got sum guy
v. low voice singing graduation
its like suddenly we become women and men
disgusting seh
blech
then the guy screaming
HACHOO HACHOO HACHOO
lol
:P
><
i will bring u 2 69th street
so cool ehs?
:P
i like 69th street
v. nice no
ace let off early but no diff
chinese...wadda we do
erm...
AIYA
LOUSY SUCKIE
AFTER THAT
stayed back
wait for ppl music exam over
Match Point At 7:05 AM
Monday, October 20, 2008
THINGS THAT EVERYONE NOES THAT I DIDNT NOE UNTIL A FEW WEEKS~ DAYS AGO
LRT HAS WHEELS OMFG
SHINI AND ZHENGWEI ARE BROTHERS AND SISTER
ZUO WEI GLASSES SUX
THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT EVER HAPPEN IN SINGAPORE ( OR AGAIN)
F1 RACE
U NOE WHY
ONE DAY SINGAPORE WILL BE SO CHEAPSKATE AS TO TURN ON THE ERP DURING F1 RACE. SO NIGHT TAX EVEN HIGHER. GO THROUGH 20 + TIMES, MIGHT JUST AS WELL GIVE UP THEIR PRIZE MONEY
2ND ONE : MARATHON
YOU NOE WHY
ONE DAY SINGAPORE HOLD MARATHON GOT PROBLEM. THE MARATHON RUNNERS RUN RUN RUN PICK UP WATER BOTTLE, THEN LITTER ON THE FLOOR, THEN KENNA FINE, SO MANY TIME MIGHT JUST AS WELL GIVE US BACK GOLD MEDAL.
3RD ONE BULLET TRAIN
U NOE WHY
SINGAPORE SO SMALL
BULLET TRAIN MOVE ONLY 10 SECOND
REACH FROM CHANGI TO CLEMENTI ALREADY
4TH ONE ALWAYS SMILE CAMPAIGN
U NOE WHY
SINGAPORE ONE DAY SO CHEAP, THEY PUT RULE. U FROWN U PAY US 50 DOLLAR. CONSECUTIVE BREAKS OF THIS LAW WILL RESULT IN EXPULSIO OF SCHOOL, OR FIRING FROM WORK.
5TH ONE IS THE GOLD MEDAL
U NOE WHY. SINGAPORE VERY CARE ABOUT FACE DE. SCARLIE ONE DAY AH, WE PLAY IN OLYMIC, THEN LAST PLACE THEN YOU NOE. LAUGH AT LEE HSIEN LOONG FACE
6TH ONE GAY IS OKAY
WAD BULLSHIT LA...LIDDAT JOO KEE MARRY ROY LONG LONG LONG LONG AGO
SO GAY IS OKAY LESBIAN NOT ...WAH SO COOL
7TH LEGAL AGE OF 16
AH LA SCARLIE YR 4 EVERYONE WILL LOCK THEMSELF IN CLASSROOM GOT MASS NIGHTS OUT PARTY THEN U NOE, MUZ MAKE IT 18.
8TH ONE INCREASE OF GST
YOU NOE WHY
ONE DAY AH GST SO HIGH BECOME 110%. YOU HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR WHA YOU NEED.
9TH ONE. 24 HOUR CLINIC
U NO WHY
IF U GOT PROBLEM AT NIGHT, GO HOSPITAL
10TH ONE TAXI DRIVING
ONE DAY THE BASE FEE WILL BE 10 DOLLAR, THEN EVERY 100 METRE PAY 5 DOLLARS MORE
LOL I JUZ BEING RANDOM I BORED. SG GOVERMENT DUN BOTHER 2 READ THIS...WASTE OF YOUR LIFE
Match Point At 6:14 AM
LOL
lollolol
kays mvoin on with 2day
ms mak gave us free time for mentoring
wad di we do........aiyayay
free time ba
oh i talkin 2 ppl...as usual...
english ms lau came instead of ms bong
lol
so when she aske why there was the please refrain from enterting by the front doot
i replied
we are tricking the teachers we dun like
lol u should hav seen her face :p
so when she left, we all talked crap, tlakin abt how fat zhi yuan is, and their potential son names
potential son/daughter names:
Gahyun
Jilen
Joo Qi
Rui Kee
Xin Yuan
Zhi Ai
wad else ahs........
yong ai
xin chern
puniges
Muruta
lol
FAT INSULT FOR ZHI YUAN I MADE 2DAE
YOU'RE SO FAT YOUR BRA SIZE IS OUT OF THE ALPHABET
lol
chinese go com lab we did survey and file thingie
sien la
lol
maths...MENSURATION PROJ
lol
physics new tcher came...wah sien la...boring
he chao slow la...
150 TEACHERS IS ALOT 2 RMB
BIO TCHER LOL SHE L;ET US OFF 1 1/2 HR EARLY SO SHIOK..BUT 105 HAD 2 COME IN
THEN PLAYED BBALL...
Match Point At 4:13 AM
Friday, October 17, 2008
wah so cool...dunno y i started out with that
erm...wednesday the thursday
chemistry was stupid seh....i hate stupid stupid stupid limiting reactants
physics pei pei didnt come
then erm... break..then chinese
OH YA THE SCH WAS RETARDED on thursdasy
every few minutes got 1 blackout
it repeated for 10~ 15 times
lol
but maybe more
as me yi an zong yao zuowei and roy went 2 the hall and do
and chee seng bargained with ms mak giv us extra dayt
hooray
lol
this wad i said abt the blackout
dr hang like ltitle kid, playign with on and off switch. on off on off on off on off
lol
after that... they got music we slack
wadda we do while they slacked...
dd we play bball...cant be wad...waddafug i cant rmb a thing
my memory suckie liaos
lol
took leon way back home with leon
lol
:P
thursday become wednesday
so the thurnesday
wedthurday
erm..nvm
did nthin much
pe suckie
lol
played bball
lol nvr scotred once
then ...skip all this stuff to research congress
shini the sicko, poster got word CUM big big there
lol
and dr hang speak chao boring seh
almoz fell alseep
friday
which was 2dae
mentoring ms mak not here
english...wah ...ms bong giv us alot of stuff to do
maths mensuration SUCKS OKAY
lol
then geog...erm...did sum hw
then finally played bball
lol
jun hui taught me how 2 shoot bball
this wad he said
U tyco or pro. Just 1 minute mastered 1 pointer and 2 pointer
lol
><
nvm...then went home with jun hui too
BUS FRIGGIN EMPTY
kaysd cyas
Match Point At 3:53 AM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
ah...I BROUGHT A WIG ON MONDAY
giv hong jing
along with a plastic bag with the brand the brashop there
for fun :P
lol
ms bong saw the PCK me and laughed like siao
ms mak let us go 2 com lab
and i played pinball with her behind me
lol oops
ms chew stupid mensuration
POINTS MDIDLE FINGER AT MENSURATION
after that physics
we filmed an episode of our own series
lol
so cool eh
TUESDAY
erm...maths
we found out how 2 calculate zhi yuan;s volume
4/3 pie r cube
mensuration suckie la
english...lol...ms bong say wei jun enderaged species of turtles
then i say
FASTER REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND!!!
lol
retarded seh
then ms bong show us some videos
lol got one girl pointing middle fingers
then...also got 1 auintie
saying
AH LA NOT LIKE THIS STUPID BITCHES PASTING SANITARY PADS ON THE DOOR
funny sias
geog
ms chen got pronouncougn question
all the tips words she said
sounded like tits
so when she said my tips are reliable...erm...
...
then she said my tips can help you alot
erm...
finally chem
29/35 SO HAPPY
kays done
getting new glasses soon i think
Match Point At 3:28 AM
Friday, October 10, 2008
LOL
BUS FRIGGIN EMPTY SO COOL SEH
started day with english
wadda we do
oh ya we celebrated our additional marks for recount
hehe
then when ms bong asked galen for comments on a question
he said nthing, yet that time speaker spoil, got toot toot toot toot toot, then i said," censored"
lol
after that break study geo...
math had mensuration which sucked balls, and i was studying geog
lol
GPN is the strategy companies use to manufacture their goods etc etc.
GEOG TEST
lol so moody, so scary, so solemn,so serious
THEN SUDDENLY
GALEN WHISTLED FOR MS CHEN ATTENTION LOL
damn funny la
break the mood
cant rmb wad hong jing said that made class laugh
but i rmb roy spammiung shit, thhen ms chen<" it can be found in the toilet"
lol
played badminton ate lunch, heard chee seng venting his anger on his msuic elective
then during nc
0mfg, i reported sick...NAD PUKED THROUGH MY NOSE
FCK SIAS, MY NOSE WA SON FIRE
FRIGGIN HOT, THEN THE TASTE SUCKS
WHEN IS VOMITING THROUGH YOUR MOUTH CONSIDERED NICE
WHEN IS VOMITING THROUGH YOUR NOSE CONSIDERED NORMAL
budden
wad happened later was 100% worse
after han siang masde me laugh due to his ridiculous ordering so that yi xuan could get his shirt, i laughed, my chest felt as if it contracted, then everything my eye saw became white...even mitra too
><
then after dismissed for changing, i fell down immediately, lost control of my legs
it sucks la the feeling
go back up head dizzy'
wah then cant do PT T_T
but head still dizzy
lol first thing ji hyun did when she saw me was kick me, then call me fat
but i too tired to repl
went back home with jie ren and josh
so now i'm back home whopee
Match Point At 4:54 AM
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
FCKIN SHIT
oh i not fckin shit btw
juz venting my anger from the CHEMISTRY TEST
lol
start with PE lol
v. siens
mr soon evil, he put his shoe on my hand and killed and squashed and mutilated and destroyed and squished the millipede in my hand
lol :P
then physics test thingie
isoceles triangle sux
lol
and eating mentos durign exam rox seh
lol
then chemidtry test
got 1 ridiculous part
if u dunno the answer yet u sitll put u minus 0.5 marks
so if u dunno, its safer not to write anything
lol
OH I HATE NUMBER FOUR NOW
WHY
CUZ SULPHATE IS ASSHOLE FOUR NOT ASSHOLE THREE
REMEMBER EVERYONE
SULPHATE IS ASSHOLE FOUR
JUST THINK OF THE FOUR ASSHOLES
movin on to chinese...lol exam is gonna be friggin hards
lol :P
><
axis, presentation alot of funny question la
then when jun hui said his 1/3 of the question to me
HAVE YOU SEEN A PERSON THAT COULD NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOOR?
YES I HAVE
lol
then kian wee taped his arm, then couldnt take it off
lol
then i said," he has to amputate it omg!!"
haiz bored now
Match Point At 3:34 AM
Friday, October 3, 2008
THURSDAY
wadda we do
chemistry
prac
wad is th hole for?
for poking into
and when u burn copper thingies...GREEN FLAME
sibei cool
lol
then jk and rachel both playing with the sponge thingie, that produces a thick white liquid
CALLED S-O-A-P
lol
physics
miss lim ask me crawl Oo...and she has A SON
OMFG
break...after that had.............................................................................................CHINESE TEST
which sucked
lol zuo wei cheaitng like hell la
friday which is 2dae
first with mentoring which we did.....ah fark i got bad memory
oh ya exam rules
lol
then sumthin abt eatin rules
*coughrachelcoughwillcoughdefinitelycoughbreakcoughthecoughnocougheatingcoughrules*
sorry, got cough 2dae
v. bad
:p
then english
OH YEAH 14/25 ROX
ROY CAN CRY lol
becuz we lock him out of the class
so pro
and jk ur compo got flaws
firstly
roy always ate at the canteen during recess
WHERE ELSE CAN HE EAT
lol obviously seh
okay math
YEAH...i still hate stats
lol
geog
erm...globalisation...zhi yuan;s the new carrier
still guessing ms chen password
lolo
then play badminton like siao
shiok seh
but russel is scary
BUT HE GAVE US FREE COCKS
WOOHOO SO HAPPY
cuz...cocks v. expensive nowadays
specially feather one
plastic one is still okay, but muz buy YONEX BRAND, which is from japan...not china :P
is there badminton products from china...??
lol
china badminton string made from frozen milk
:P..imagine that
changed uniform
FORGOT EQPAULETTE, and josh gave my belt to my classmate, whose name is ian foo
OMG
i in 106 AND 107
lol
then...to improvise
boon chong use scotchtape, made 2 rounds, to make a belt..AND IT WORKED...for 1 h
be4 we did so many push ups...that I DIDNT FAINT...cool i didnt faint
then bernard say track gals laughing at us...i wonder which one ...hm...
lol
hooray...
wad did i do after ncc
oh ya i bought the LAST MOCHA BREEZE BEFORE JUN HUI BY 10 SECONDS
hahaha
AND PLAYED BADMINTON
and boon chong is pro
rachel got owned by roy...
joo kee is juz gay
Match Point At 7:23 AM
To make his son think about how he was created, Joo Kee made a new switch around the house, so that he and his wife could forever be reminded of their experiences together.
Due to his acheievements, he was sent onto the show. However, he had trouble solving the last phrase, and due to this he got a heart attack.
